


Carry On

by SailorChibi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Realities, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Family, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Domestic Avengers, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Fuck You Marvel, Grief/Mourning, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Lives, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Natasha Romanov Lives, Phil Coulson lives, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Tags subject to change as story continues, Team as Family, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Lives, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, alternate universe fix-it, because you can't just ignore that unfortunately, can't believe I'm writing a stony fix-it, cause honestly i only have a vague idea of where this is going, everybody lives goddamnit, fanon avengers, hand wavvy magic, hand wavvy science, mentioned tony stark/pepper potts - Freeform, naturally this means endgame spoilers, or that's what we're aiming for anyway, so do not read if you don't want to be spoiled, takes place after avengers endgame, this is what endgame has done to me omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: This fic contains spoilers for endgame.Tony Stark used the Infinity Stones and died. Or at least, that's what wassupposedto happen. So why is he waking up in a hospital room in November 2012, with a very worried Steve Rogers sitting at his bedside?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Umm yeah ok so Endgame never happened. We're all in agreement with that, right? RIGHT?
> 
> Note: Tony refers to the 2023 Avengers by their last names, and the 2012, fanon Avengers by their first names to avoid confusion.

_You can rest now, Tony._

"Tony? Tony! Oh my god, can you hear me?!"

Tony could, in fact, hear the voice of Steve Rogers quite clearly, but that made no sense to him. He should be dead. He _was_ dead; if Peter's voice crying out his name and the feel of Pepper’s lips as she kissed him goodbye wasn't enough to bring him back from the brink, then nothing was. No human could use the Infinity Stones without dying. He'd known as soon as Strange looked over at him that this way the only way, and that he wouldn't survive it. In the span of those few seconds, Tony had made his decision and accepted the outcome. 

So why he was now opening his eyes to what was unmistakably a ceiling in a hospital, Tony had no idea. 

"Tony. Are you awake?" A familiar face appeared over Tony's. Steve’s eyes were overly bright, like he was crying, but that made even less sense than Tony being in the hospital room in the first place.

"Cap?" Tony mouthed. The tube down his throat prevented him from speaking, which was unfortunate because he’d never had so many questions in his _life_.

"Shh. Don't try to talk. Nat's gone to get a doctor." 

Natasha? Tony blinked, his confusion mounting by the second. Natasha was dead. They had mourned her. Clint had trashed half the Compound. There had been tears. No one could forget that. 

But then the door opened, and Natasha walked in. Tony stared at her in shock. She didn't look like the Natasha he remembered. For one thing, she looked a _lot_ younger and a heck of a lot less stressed out. Her hair was completely red again, and it was cut to just below her shoulders and styled in loose waves instead of the braid she had begun to favor. She moved straight over to Steve, though she smiled at Tony, and put a hand on Steve's shoulder. She leaned in to whisper something in Steve's ear as the doctor behind her came over to Tony and started examining him.

The next thing he knew, Natasha and Steve were being ushered out of the room. Tony didn't want them to go, but he couldn't exactly speak up at the moment. Another doctor and three nurses came in. The tube was removed from Tony's throat, thankfully, and he found himself coughing between sips of tepid water. His eyes roved the faces of the doctors and nurses, but he didn't recognize any of them. What the hell was this? Some kind of cosmic joke? 

"Now," the doctor said. "My name is Doctor Burns. I've been looking after your case. Can you tell me if you remember your name?"

"Tony Stark," Tony said.

"And the date?"

"Uh..." He blinked at her. "How long have I been in here for?"

She smiled slightly. "That's fair. Do you remember the name of your company?"

"Stark Industries."

"And the names of your two friends who were here?"

"Steve and... and Natasha," Tony said, his eyes stealing back to the door again.

Doctor Burns nodded and made a few notes on her clipboard. "That's good. Very good. Now, do you remember what happened?"

"No," Tony said slowly, since he thought that 'I used the Infinity Stones to disintegrate Thanos and his fucking army out of existence and then died' probably wasn't the answer that the doctor wanted to hear.

Doctor Burns nodded like she was expecting that. "You were in a fight with the other Avengers. You were thrown into a building, which then collapsed on top of you. Your suit actually did an excellent job of protecting you, but you did have some damage to your head." She looked down at him. "I'm going to be frank. You've been in a coma for over a week. Yesterday, I declared you brain dead. It's not medically possible that you're awake right now, much less capable of speaking and having a conversation."

Tony stared at her, mouth open. A week ago, he'd been at the Compound with the other Avengers. They definitely hadn't been in any kind of fight, though they’d been gearing up for what would be the fight of their lives.

"Frankly, this is nothing short of a miracle," she went on. "And you're going to have to undergo some extensive testing to make sure you're okay."

"Uh, sure," Tony said dazedly. "Just to double-check - what _is_ the date?"

"It's November 29th, 2012."

Eleven years. Tony sank back against the pillows, stunned. Had something gone wrong with the time travel? But that didn't make any sense. He and 2012 Tony had been two separate people. Tony hadn't entered the body of his younger self or anything weird like that. And while people could be oblivious, there was a world of difference between 2012 Tony and 2023 Tony. He had to believe that the doctors, if not the Avengers, would've noticed if they'd had the body of someone in their early fifties as opposed to the body of someone in their early forties, arc reactor or no.

Aside from that, he, Lang, Banner and Rogers had traveled back to _May_ 2012, when the Battle of New York happened. That was almost seven months ago, if what Doctor Burns was saying was correct. Besides, Tony _knew_ that nothing had gone wrong with the time travel if you discounted the fact that Nebula should never have gone with Rhodey. They'd returned to 2023, they'd battled Thanos, and in the end they'd won. They'd won because Tony had taken the Infinity Stones and used them, and then he'd died.

So how had he ended up here?

His brain was spinning so much that he barely paid attention to the tests that the doctor wanted to run on him. He was too busy trying to figure out what had happened and if there was a way he could get home. He could build another time travel device and visit Hank Pym. It wouldn't be easy to get Pym Particles out of the man considering the long history of antagonism between the Pyms and the Starks, but Tony would do whatever he had to in order to get back to his wife and daughter. 

Pepper. Morgan. His chest ached just thinking about them. They thought he was dead, no doubt. He had to make it back to them to prove otherwise.

It was very late before Tony returned to his hospital room. There, he found Steve waiting for him. For the first time, Tony actually took Steve in and realized that Steve looked a lot younger too. But then, that made sense if it was only 2012. All of them had - no, _would_ age a lot over the next eleven years. Tony dreaded to think of all the things that this poor young Steve had no idea were coming.

"Tony," Steve breathed. "How are you doing?"

"Okay. Not dead," Tony said with a shrug of one shoulder. It was a step up. It sucked having the arc reactor again, but he had a hell of a lot less aches and pains in this body than he’d had in his old body. That was a bonus.

Steve half-smiled, but it melted away quickly and he bit his lip. "God, Tony, you scared the shit out of us. We all thought for sure you were a goner."

"Sorry," Tony said, frowning. Now that he thought about it, something about this was very strange. The Avengers had all gone their separate ways after the Battle of New York. Rogers had gone off on his own, taking a motorcycle trip across the country. Romanov and Barton had left; at the time, Tony had assumed they'd gone back to SHIELD. Now, experience told him that the two of them had probably gone back to the Barton farm for a couple of weeks. Thor had returned to Asgard with Loki and the Tesseract in tow. Banner was the only one who had come back to the Tower with him, but even Banner hadn't stayed: he'd spent the night and then left the very next morning.

The Avengers hadn't come together as a team again in 2012. In fact, Tony was pretty sure that it had been almost the end of 2013, maybe even early 2014, before they were all in the same room. He didn't remember any fights in November 2012 where he'd fought with Rogers and Romanov. Certainly, there hadn't been any fights that had left him in a week long coma with a doctor pronouncing him medically brain dead.

"Don't apologize. It was my fault," Steve said, shaking his head. "I’m so sorry. I should've been paying more attention."

"Umm... okay," Tony said slowly, furrowing his eyebrows. Steve was _apologizing_? And _meaning_ it? That didn't fit with the man that Tony remembered.

"I just... ugh, seeing you hit that building. And then watching it come down on top of you..." Steve's face crumbled. He visibly took a deep breath and schooled his expression into something a little less devastated. "But you're okay now, or at least you're going to be. Right?"

"Right," Tony said. "That's what they tell me, anyway." He looked down at himself to avoid staring incredulously at Steve. His right shoulder had been dislocated, and he'd cracked a couple ribs, but, considering that a building had collapsed on top of him, he'd gotten off lightly. If the tests came back okay, then the doctors wouldn't be able to keep him here. He'd be able to sign him out.

Which was good. Very good. Because Tony had the creeping suspicion that something was _very_ wrong. There were too many variables that didn't make sense. He was pretty sure, though he'd need more conclusive evidence, that he hadn't just traveled back in time. No.

He was beginning to think he might have ended up in a different reality altogether.

He and Banner had discussed that while they were working in the lab, after most of them returned from the past. The Supreme One's information had been troubling, though not entirely surprising. Banner had sworn to her that they would return the Infinity Stones to the precise moment that they took them to avoid causing alternate realities. Tony was certain that Banner would've made sure someone had taken care of that after Tony died. But just because they'd successfully prevented _those_ alternate realities didn't mean that there weren't already alternate realities playing out.

“Tony? Are you okay? You’ve gone… pale.”

“I have a headache,” Tony muttered, putting a hand to his temple. He wasn’t lying. The concept of parallel universes had always screwed with his head. But he was going to have to figure it out.

The Infinity Stones. This had to be their fault. Somehow, some way, they’d done this.

But did that mean that to fix it, he had to collect all six of them? Tony felt a chill at the thought. If this really was an alternate reality, there was no telling where the stones might be. So far it didn’t look like things were too different, but that didn’t mean very much considering he’d only been conscious for all of twelve hours now. And if he did manage to collect the stones, using them might very well kill him this time.

He had to try, though. He had to get back to Morgan!

“You should sleep,” Steve said, getting up. Tony thought that he was leaving, but all Steve did was turn off the lights and return to his chair.

“You’re staying?” Tony asked.

“Of course. Thor and Loki will be here at 6am to relieve me,” said Steve. 

“Thor and Loki will…” Tony shook his head. “Did you just say _Loki_?!”

Steve looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Yeah, why?”

“I – no reason,” Tony said, utterly baffled. “No reason at all.”

Needless to say, he didn’t sleep at all that night. He was pretty sure that Steve didn’t either, judging by the occasional creaking of the chair as Steve shifted. He supposed it was good to know that no matter what reality you were in, hospital chairs were uncomfortable.

Just as the sunlight began seeping in around the flimsy curtains, the door opened and Thor stuck his head in. It was a shock to see him; his hair was still long, and both his eyes were fine, and he was as fit as Steve. But it was an even bigger shock to see Loki walk in right behind him, wearing a pair of very tight black jeans and an over-sized green t-shirt that was sliding down one bony shoulder.

Loki stopped short, flicked a few strands of long black hair out of his face, and _stared_ at Tony.

Tony stared back.

“Brother,” Loki said after a moment. “Please take the Captain to the cafeteria for a coffee.”

Thor blinked, then nodded. “Capital idea, Loki. Steve? Loki will stay with Tony.”

“Sure. I could use a coffee.” Steve got up and left with Thor. They were so _casual_ about leaving Tony alone with Loki, and Tony stared after them in complete betrayal. 

“You’re not Stark,” Loki said, folding his arms across his chest and drawing Tony’s attention back to him.

“Uh, yeah, I am,” Tony said, suddenly realizing he was alone, with Loki, and completely defenseless.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “Let me rephrase that. You’re not the Tony Stark of this world. Your soul is different. Either tell me what’s going on, or –”

Tony waved a hand and cut him off. “I am in _no mood_ to hear threats. Believe me, if I could tell you what was going on, we would all be _so much happier_ right now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to type this up today so thought I'd post it as a special treat. I'm blown away by the response to this fic!

Life would be too easy if Loki took that as an answer. He moved closer to the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. “The Tony Stark of this world was brain dead,” he said slowly. “You can only imagine the surprise from the team last night when Natasha came back with word that Stark was awake and talking.”

“The team,” Tony repeated.

“Banner, Barton, Thor, myself.” Loki looked, for a moment, like he might continue, but instead paused to study Tony’s expression. Then he added, “That surprises you.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Tony lied, quickly trying to school his face. Because actually, Loki wasn’t wrong about that: it surprised Tony a lot. The whole team was there, not just Steve and Natasha? And apparently Loki was considered to be a part of the team too? He was definitely looking at an alternate reality here.

“Yes, it does. You’re a shit liar, Stark.” Loki sat in the chair Steve had vacated, primly crossing one leg over the other. “If you’re not the Tony Stark of this world, you’re come from somewhere else. Explain.”

“I don’t owe you anything, you little shit,” Tony said. 

“Explain, or I’ll go get Steve and Thor,” Loki replied with a smirk. 

Tony gritted his teeth in annoyance. He disliked the thought of having to confide in Loki, of all people. But he hated the thought of having to tell Steve and Thor the truth even more. Until he could figure out a way to get home, he was (apparently) going to have to live with these people. It would be easier if they weren’t suspicious of him, and the easiest way to do that would be if they thought he was their friend.

“Under one condition,” he said finally.

Loki cocked his head. “Oh?”

“I want you to bring me my phone,” Tony said. He’d looked around the bare room and discovered a depressing lack of electronics. He needed to get his hands on something that would enable him to figure out more about this world, but Steve and the nurses were better than guard dogs. He hadn’t had a moment to himself since waking up.

After a thoughtful pause, Loki inclined his head. “I can do that.”

“Fine. You’re right, I’m not the Tony Stark of this world. I started off thinking I was from the future, but now I think I must be in an alternate reality. Where I come from, _you_ definitely did not live with the Avengers. You were our enemy,” Tony said. He didn’t think he needed to tell Loki that where he came from, there hadn’t been an Avengers team for Loki to live with for a very long time.

“Interesting,” Loki said. “How did you get here?”

“I have no idea,” Tony admitted. “I was – we were –” He cut himself off, a familiar surge of panic closing his throat. He clenched his trembling hands into fists and looked down at them. Using the Infinity Stones had hurt _so much_. He understood now why Banner had screamed. He didn’t have words to describe how much it had hurt, but it had easily been the worst pain of his life. Not even open-heart surgery without anaesthesia, and in between bouts of torture, had been that bad. 

It took longer than Tony was comfortable with before he could calm himself down enough to speak. And even then, he couldn’t bring himself to say Thanos’s name. All he could get out was, “We were fighting someone, and I took drastic measures to stop them. I died. I woke up here.”

“You died,” Loki repeated. His green eyes were too sharp and looked too deep, and saw too much.

“I died,” Tony said again. His hands shook harder. It wasn’t the first time he’d died, but he’d definitely thought it would be the last.

“But you didn’t. You ended up here. Obviously, your soul wasn’t ready to go,” said Loki.

“I – I had accepted my death,” Tony said. He’d known what using the Infinity Stones meant. No normal human could withstand that. And in spite of what Tony had done, he was, at his core, a very normal human.

“Clearly you hadn’t.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because nothing could keep you here if you didn’t want to be here,” Loki said carelessly. “There’s plenty of things that can force you to go, but nothing can force you to _stay_. It’s one of the first rules of magic that my mother taught me. You wanted to live, and so you did.”

Tony stared at him for a long time. In that moment, he’d thought – he’d _known_ \- but leaving behind Pepper, leaving _Morgan_ , was never something that Tony would truly want to do. He’d finally achieved a measure of peace with them. Of course he hadn’t wanted to die! No one had told him that to use the Infinity Stones, he had be totally and completely at peace with dying!

“So then why am I here?” he asked finally. “Why am I _here_?!” He flung a hand out to encompass the room.

Loki slowly looked him over, then said, “I would guess that whatever you were playing with damaged your old body irreparably. This body, which didn’t have a soul and had no functioning consciousness, was the nearest acceptable receptacle. What did you use?”

“The Infinity Stones,” Tony whispered, and had the unique opportunity to watch Loki’s eyes go wide and his mouth drop open right before a much younger looking Clint and Bruce blew through the door.

“Tony, man, it is _so_ good to see you awake! I knew you would be alright,” Clint said, striding quickly towards the bed. “How you feeling?”

“Uh… fine?” Tony said, tearing his eyes away from Loki. It was really weird to see Clint this happy. Things had been very tense between Tony and Barton ever since Barton had joined Rogers’ side during the whole Accords mess. Even during the fight with Thanos, he and Barton hadn’t spoken much.

“What did the doctor say?” Bruce asked, crowding in beside Clint. He picked up the chart on the end of Tony’s bed and started flipping through it.

“I haven’t seen them this morning,” Tony answered. 

“Dude, what’s up with you?” Clint said, turning to Loki. “Did someone slip you Sour Keys again?”

It was Tony’s turn to be astounded, so it was a good thing Clint and Bruce were otherwise occupied. Barton _loathed_ Loki. He’d swear like a sailor anytime Loki’s name was so much as mentioned. For a long time, things had been so tense between Thor and Barton that Romanov had spent a lot of her time running interference and trying to keep Barton distracted.

Loki, fortunately, recovered quickly enough to glare at Clint. “No. I was, as ever, amazed by the stupidity of humans,” he drawled.

Clint rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. So, you don’t know when you can come home?” He turned to Tony.

“Based on what I’m seeing here, you might be able to leave by Tuesday,” Bruce said, mercifully saving Tony from having to answer. “They want to monitor you for a few days to make sure that you’re not going to have a stroke or suddenly fall back into a coma.”

“Probably a wise choice. If you collapsed, Steve would legitimately have a heart attack. And then we’d be down Captain America _and_ Iron Man, and I would have to lead. I’m not sure your ego could take that sort of beating,” Clint said, grinning.

“ _Stark’s_ ego wouldn’t be the problem,” said Loki, rising. “I’ll be back with your phone.” He vanished.

“Wow, Loki must have been really worried if he’s willingly doing you favors,” Clint said, dropping into the newly vacated seat and putting his boots up on Tony’s bed. “What was the coma like?”

“It wasn’t like anything. You’re not aware,” Bruce said. “I keep telling you, all those science fiction stories you love about astral projecting during comas aren’t really possible.”

“You don’t know that,” Clint said.

Bruce just sighed and shook his head. “How _are_ you feeling, Tony? Any pain?”

They both looked at him expectantly, and Tony realized he had to actually speak instead of staring at them open-mouthed like an idiot. He coughed a little and grabbed the cup of warm water on his nightstand, taking a sip to give him a few seconds to gather himself together. Not only was it bizarre to see Clint and Loki conversing so easily, it was equally weird to see such easy conversation flowing between Bruce and Clint. No sniping, no well-aimed barbs, no unease.

You would almost think they were _friends_.

“I had a headache a little while ago,” Tony said at last, lowering his cup. “But other than that, I’m okay.”

“That’s a really good sign. I just can’t believe you recovered so easily. Are you sure you’re not a mutant with some latent healing abilities?” Bruce looked at him with a smile.

Nope, just an idiot. Tony forced a smile. “Just lucky, I guess.”

Loki reappeared and tossing something into Tony’s lap. He looked down and found his phone; he almost dropped his cup in his haste to snatch his phone up and clutch it to his chest. Belatedly, it occurred to him that was probably a little too dramatic and he looked up with an excuse ready, but no one was looking at him like he was crazy. Bruce just frowned at him.

“Don’t spent too much time on that. You’re still recovering.”

“I won’t,” Tony said, setting his cup back down so he could hold his phone with both hands. At last. Answers.

“Excuse me.” A nurse poked her head in. “Mr. Stark, Doctor Burns has set up an MRI for you.” She frowned severely at the sight of Clint’s feet on the bed, and Loki snickered.

“We’ll go,” Clint said, getting up quickly. “See you later, Tony.” He patted Tony’s foot beneath the blankets and then edged out past the nurse.

“We’ll come back later,” Bruce promised, following. Loki didn’t speak as he left, but his lingering gaze spoke volumes.

It was torture to have to go have the MRI done rather than look through his phone, but the nurse wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer. Tony sulked but left his phone behind. The one bonus to the whole thing was that, when he finally got back to his room, there was no one there. As soon as he was back in bed and the nurses had gone, he grabbed for his phone and unlocked it.

“Good morning, Sir. May I say how pleased I am that you’re alive and well?”

Tony froze. “J… JARVIS?”

“Yes?”

Even though his lips parted, no words came out. It was like the ability to speak had completely fled his mind. 

“Sir, do you need something?” JARVIS asked.

Tony didn’t know he was crying until a tear hit the screen of his phone. “I… yeah, I…” He shook his head. “It’s just so good to hear your voice.” And to know it was coming from _JARVIS_ , not Vision.

“And yours, Sir. We have all been very concerned about you.”

“I bet,” Tony whispered. He closed his eyes and wiped his face with his hospital gown. “JARVIS, buddy, I need you to bring up my files on the Battle of New York. Can you do that?”

“Of course,” JARVIS said, sounding almost insulted, and Tony half-smiled as several files began loading up on his screen. “Are you looking for something in particular? Should I run a search?”

“No, I just want to look,” Tony said. He settled back against the pillows and started reading the documents and watching the footage. It was immediately obvious what had changed. 

In this reality, Loki had not been sent to attack Earth alone. Thanos had attacked alongside him. Tony’s blood ran cold at the thought of Thanos having been on Earth six years early. There was no mention of what had brought Thanos here; Tony could only assume that Thanos had decided to collect the Tesseract and, since two Infinity Stones _definitely_ would’ve drawn Thanos, possibly the Time Stone in person.

From the looks of the footage, it had been a long and difficult battle. But because Thanos didn’t have any Infinity Stones except for the Mind Stone backing him up, he’d eventually been defeated. In the process, the sceptre and thus the Mind Stone had been shattered. Tony caught his breath at that and sat, shocked, for several minutes, reading and re-reading the same sentence over and over again.

He needed all six Infinity Stones to get home. But the Mind Stone was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

After a prolonged period of inactivity, JARVIS spoke. “Sir? Do you need assistance?”

“No. N-no,” Tony stuttered, his heart racing. He forced himself to keep reading, taking in the rest of the details. The destruction of the Mind Stone meant that all of the people who had been brainwashed were simultaneously freed. According to the documents, it had been evident to everyone that Loki was another one of Thanos’s victims, and he, like the SHIELD agents and civilians who had been brainwashed, hadn’t been condemned for his crimes.

Tony paused again at that. Had that been the case for Loki in his own reality? He’d never stopped to think about it. Thor had never brought it up and had seemed to assume that Loki had been willingly working for Thanos. There was no way Tony would ever know now. But at least it explained why Loki was staying with the Avengers and why there was no animosity between him and Clint.

One of the documents went into a little more detail, stating that apparently Loki was responsible for some crimes on Asgard. But Loki had never left Earth, and apparently Thor had brokered some sort of deal between Loki and their father that allowed Loki to remain on Earth. Since Loki had never expressed any desire to return to Asgard, and since he’d been willing to assist in the clean-up of New York, the end result was peaceful enough. From there, Loki had somehow become an Avenger.

On top of all that, the team was indeed living together. Naturally, the files didn’t detail exactly how that had happened. But it seemed like Bruce had stayed, and so had Thor and Loki – Thor had taken the Tesseract back to Asgard, but quickly returned. Clint and Natasha had come by the next morning and never left. Steve had gone for his trip but had shown up three weeks later.

And then Tony came across something that made him drop his phone out of sheer surprise: an innocuous text message from Natasha that said something about her and Bucky waiting for Tony, the _old_ Tony, at the tower. Bucky. That could only be one person. It was only 2012 and they were already talking about Bucky? What the hell was going on here?!

It was too much shock in too short a period of time. Tony pressed shaking hands to his face and tried to think reasonably about a crazy situation, but his brain refused to cooperate. Smaller details like Loki and Bucky he could probably wrap his mind around eventually, but what was really fucking him up was the realization that the Mind Stone was gone. That just made everything infinitely more complicated.

He didn’t know how long he sat there for, before there was a gentle knock on the door and the last voice he wanted to hear right now said, “Tony?”

Pepper. Tony slowly lowered his hands to look at her. Seeing her was a fresh jolt. Like the others, she looked a lot younger and less stressed. Her hair was a deeper shade of red, not the strawberry blonde he’d gotten used to seeing, and it was tied up in a ponytail. She was wearing a tailored grey suit with a pretty aqua blouse and aqua heels. There was a stack of files tucked into the crook of her right arm.

One glance and Tony knew two things without a doubt: one, that this was not _his_ Pepper. And two, that he and Pepper were not dating in this reality. Her expression was full of concern, of course, but her eyes were lacking that little extra spark that always made him feel weak at the knees when his Pepper looked at him. He dazedly thought, as she entered the room, that that was probably a blessing in disguise.

“I figured you were going to stir crazy right about now, so I thought we could talk work,” she said, sliding into the chair. “I also wanted to see for myself that you were in one piece.”

She was looking at him expectantly. Tony gave his head a brief shake, shoved everything else aside, and forced a smile. “Still here. Still in one piece.”

“How’s your head?” she asked worriedly.

“Alright, but I’m fuzzy on some details. I probably won’t remember everything about what you’ve got there,” Tony said. Try _anything_ about what she had there. Pepper had always been a sucker when he was hurt, and he hoped that would continue here. Otherwise, he was going to be screwed.

But Pepper just nodded and said, “That’s okay. I don’t mind bringing you back up to speed. Are you sure you feel up to it?”

“Actually, I think looking at some boring contracts is exactly what I need right now,” Tony replied. Anything to keep his mind off of what he had just learned. 

She smiled, and his heart ached. She hadn’t made any move to kiss him, which solidified his suspicion that they weren’t dating, and Tony was grateful for that. He wasn’t sure he could sit here and let that happen; no matter how much it might pique her curiosity and make her take a closer look at him, it would feel too much like cheating, even if it was another version of Pepper Potts. 

Working on the contracts took several hours. Tony was glad to have something to sink his teeth into. It had been a while since he’d needed to worry about stuff like this, but he found that his old skills were rushing back as he reviewed clause after clause. Slowly but surely, they worked their way through the stack. True to her word, Pepper filled in the gaps whenever necessary and never once criticized Tony for not knowing something.

When they were done, Pepper sat back and sighed. “Okay, now tell me what’s wrong.”

“What?” Tony said in surprise, nearly making a mistake with his signature. At first, he felt bad for signing on behalf of another Tony Stark, but… well, the guy was dead if he believed the doctors, nurses, Loki, and literally everyone else who kept expressing their shock over his ‘miraculous’ recovery. Dead people couldn’t care about whether or not S.I. agreed to work with a company.

“You don’t seem like yourself,” Pepper said, looking at him worriedly. 

“It’s just been a long few days,” Tony said. He didn’t know how else to reassure her. Of course he didn’t seem like the other Tony; he was an entirely different person!

Maybe he should just tell her truth. Tony dropped his gaze and finished signing the handful of documents. If – when – he figured out how to go back, that wouldn’t bring the other Tony Stark back. If he believed Loki’s theory, his old body was damaged beyond repair. That meant Tony would need to take this new body with him. And that meant that, so far as Pepper and the Avengers here were concerned, Tony would just disappear.

That seemed needlessly cruel. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. One look into her face and his courage just failed him. What if they hated him? What if they didn’t want anything to do with him? He didn’t think he could handle that right now. It was already enough of a risk confiding in Loki; he probably shouldn’t have done even that, but Loki hadn’t left him much choice.

He sighed and lifted his head. “Seriously. You know how being in the hospital always screws me up. I can’t wait to go home.”

Fortunately, Pepper seemed to buy that and nodded. “I know, but you shouldn’t sign yourself out until at least tomorrow. Stark Industries can wait, and, as much as you hate to hear it, the Avengers are doing okay too.”

“I never doubted it,” Tony said, flashing her a tiny smile. “I’ll give the doctors until tomorrow, but that’s it. I really do feel fine, and I have work to do.”

Namely, figuring out how he was going to get his hands on six Infinity Stones, including one that technically no longer existed in this time. He was going to have to use time travel, but that would be complicated. Unlike before, he didn’t have firsthand knowledge of the Battle of New York. He had no way of knowing when and where the Sceptre had been. Even if he figured out time travel again, he’d probably have a very narrow window.

Not to mention getting the other five Stones wouldn’t be a walk in the park, either. He knew where the Time Stone was, and the Soul Stone was on Vormir – though that would require a sacrifice to get, which Tony didn’t know if he was comfortable with, but what choice did he have? The Space Stone was on Asgard, most likely. But the Reality Stone and Power Stone were question marks at this point.

“Work?” Pepper looked down at his phone. “Let me guess. You’re already hard at work figuring out how to make the armor better?”

“Among other things,” Tony said. He wondered how far advanced the Iron Man armor was in this timeline. If it was similar to where Tony’s armor had been in 2012, his armor was about to get a major upgrade. He liked the nanites and the ability to have his suit with him at all times too much to give it up now.

Pepper sighed. “Just try and get some rest, okay? I probably shouldn’t have even brought you these… you’re taxing your brain.” She stood and slipped her shoes back on, then started gathering her papers together. They were strewn all over Tony’s hospital bed. He helped, trying to keep the papers together as much as he could. Then Pepper reached for a document that was on the far side, and it brought their faces close together.

An irrational desire to kiss her possessed Tony for all of a second; if Pepper noticed, she didn’t let on. She grabbed the paper and straightened up, slipping it back into her folder. Tony swallowed hard and bid her goodbye. He couldn’t say as much, but he really hoped that she didn’t come back for another visit until he had the chance to get his head on straight. The last thing he needed was to kiss her and make things complicated.

The nurses bought supper in shortly after Pepper left. Tony poked at the food, but the bland meatloaf and watery potatoes did nothing to stimulate his appetite. He set the tray aside and picked up his phone again, this time feeling slightly more prepared for whatever surprises he might find. In particular, he was curious to know how Bucky had come to be at the Tower this soon.

But he didn’t get far. No sooner had Tony unlocked his phone than Steve walked in, holding a fast food bag and a cup of coffee. Tony’s mouth watered immediately and he said, “Is that for me?”

“I know how insufferable you can be without your cheeseburgers,” Steve said. There was no malice in his voice, just a warm fondness that made Tony’s stomach flip. “Pepper texted me to say she was all done and that you could have your reward now.” He moved the hospital tray, replacing it with the bag which turned out to hold fries and a huge double cheeseburger.

“Thank you,” Tony said with relish, eagerly grabbing the burger. He took a huge bite and moaned. That was so much better than hospital food.

“You’re welcome. I don’t know how they expect anyone to subsist on this kind of food.” Steve wrinkled his nose and went to set the tray outside the room. Tony half-expected him to leave, but Steve didn’t. He came back and sat in the chair.

“It’s pretty disgusting,” Tony agreed, shoving a couple of fries in his mouth. His words came out garbled because of the food; Pepper would’ve rolled her eyes and told him how gross he was being, but Steve just rolled his eyes and smiled.

“I won’t ask how you’re feeling because I know you hate that question, but did the doctor say anything else?” Steve asked.

“Not really. Just that everything still looks okay,” Tony replied. He started to take another bite of his burger, but didn’t. He looked at Steve. Everything _seemed_ normal. This Steve had at least foregone that stupid 40’s haircut, and he was wearing a plain white shirt underneath a black jacket and jeans. There was still a smile on his face; he was relaxed, or as relaxed as someone could be in that chair, and seemed at ease.

“What?” Steve asked.

“About Bucky… he killed my parents,” Tony said, then stopped. He hadn’t known he was going to say that until the words came out.

Steve looked surprised, but nodded. “Is that bothering you again? Do you want to talk some more?”

Again? More? Tony blinked rapidly and shoved another bite of food into his mouth to give himself some time. Had they actually sat and talked about it before? He found that incredibly hard to believe, considering that Rogers had deliberately done whatever he could to keep Tony from finding out the truth about Barnes. He chewed slowly as Steve sat forward.

Very earnestly, he said, “I’ve told you before, Tony, if you’re not okay with Bucky being at the Tower, just let us know. Bucky is more than willing to go somewhere else. You just have to let us know if you’re not comfortable. We get it.”

That was it. It was official: Tony had somehow entered the twilight zone.


	4. Chapter 4

On Tuesday, as promised, Tony was permitted to leave the hospital. The doctors weren't happy about it, but there wasn't really anything they could do to stop him: all of his scans were coming back as good as they were going to get. He still had some lingering bruises, but those would fade with time. Inwardly, his brain was fine. Tony could tell that his miraculous recovery was completely _baffling_ his doctors; none of them could figure out why or how he'd healed so quickly or so well. He heard a lot of mutterings about latent mutant powers as he signed the mountain of paperwork.

Steve and a nurse escorted Tony down to an exit at the back of the hospital, where Steve had parked a car in the hopes of not attracting as much attention. Tony climbed out of the wheelchair and into the car. He sighed happily as he watched the nurse take the wheelchair back into the hospital. His legs still felt shaky underneath him when he walked, but he didn't care. He'd have the Iron Man armor carry him around before he consented to being wheeled around like that again. Not to mention, at least now he wouldn't have to endure any more poking and prodding.

"Are you sore?" Steve asked as he slid into the driver's seat beside Tony. He gently set the bag of pills that Tony was supposed to be taking in the backseat before starting the car.

"Not really. Just a headache. I've had worse." Tony looked up at the sun visor and smiled, pleased, when he found a pair of sunglasses sitting there. They weren't a brand he was familiar with, but they were the exact shade of darkness that he preferred when he slid them on. Blocking out some of the sunlight helped to ease his headache considerably - and, as a bonus, when he checked himself out in the little mirror, the shades looked great.

"Well, we can go home and you can rest. Everyone is anxious to see you," Steve said, pulling out of the driveway.

Tony hummed softly rather than respond. It was still jarring to hear Steve refer to the tower as 'home'. He was almost positive that Cap had never considered the tower a home. Cap probably hadn't even thought of the Compound as home and he'd actually lived there for at least six months. 

He looked out the window, eager to see if New York was any different from the one he remembered. Right away, he noticed two things: number one, the city didn't look all that different. Number two, it was _really_ weird to see all the people out on the streets. After the Decimation, New York had gotten a lot quieter. Too quiet. It was one of the reasons that he and Pepper had made the decision to move out of the city. Seeing the usually fast-paced, thrumming city so lifeless had been a constant reminder of Tony's failure and everything that Thanos had stolen from them.

They got caught in rush hour traffic, which meant that Tony could've gotten out and hobbled back to the tower faster, but he was content to sit in the car and just drink in the sight of New York the way it was supposed to be. It was bittersweet in a way, because he was reminded of the fact that Morgan had never gotten the chance to see the city: he and Pepper had discussed taking her for a visit, but they’d decided to wait until she was older. Now, he wouldn't be there to see the look on his baby girl's face when she saw the city her parents loved so much for the first time. 

Could he get back? That was the looming question. Tony had spent much of the past day thinking about it. He was so used to being able to solve problems that it was frightening to realize he didn't know how to fix this one. It wasn't simply a matter of collecting the Infinity Stones anymore - which had been no simple feat to begin with! - but now he would have to add time travel and an extreme dose of luck into the mix. Unless he could figure out some way of tracking the Mind Stone, he'd come to the conclusion that chances were unlikely he'd ever be able to track it in the past.

Unless a certain sorcerer could help him with the timeline for where the Stones had been.

When they finally reached the tower, Tony slowly got out of the car. His body ached from head to toe, but he’d been honest when he told Steve that he’d had way worse. And this body was eleven years younger than the one Tony was used to; it may have been through Afghanistan and the Battle of New York, but there were plenty of other battles it hadn’t gone through yet. So far as Tony was concerned, this really was nothing.

“Welcome home, Sir,” JARVIS said as Tony and Steve walked into the building.

Tony may have teared up a little. “Thanks J,” he said. He thought he’d been successful at keeping his voice level, but Steve shot him a slightly worried look that Tony pretended not to notice.

The elevator took them up to what would have been the common floor, had the Avengers actually moved into the tower when Tony asked them to. As the elevator doors swept open he suddenly realized that in this reality, this really _was_ the common floor. There was a whole bunch of people sitting in the living room watching television – or no, watching a movie. Skyfall, to be exact.

“Oh, come on! Guns don’t work like that!” Clint yelled, throwing popcorn at the screen.

“These movies are so unrealistic. Why do you even like watching them?” asked a dark-haired girl that Tony didn’t really recognize.

“They’re fun to mock,” said Natasha. 

“Clint just likes to throw popcorn at the screen,” said Coulson, and Tony’s breath caught in surprise. He stared, gobsmacked, at the sight of Phil Coulson, seated casually on one of the couches between Natasha and Bruce. Coulson didn’t look a day older than Tony remembered him.

“That’s a complete lie and you – oh my god, don’t do that!” Clint threw another handful at the screen. 

“Just remember who has to clean up all that popcorn,” Bruce said mildly, but he was smiling.

“I’ll clean it up,” Clint said, which was such a blatant lie that even Tony was aware of it.

“Hello,” Steve said loudly. 

Several exclamations ensued as the group realized that he and Steve were standing there. Tony flinched back before he could stop himself, his pulse quickening as too many people surged towards him all at once. He hadn’t been in a crowd this large for quite some time, and especially not a crowd of people that he was used to having a tempestuous relationship with.

But then, he reminded himself as Steve’s hand came out to land gently on his shoulder and help to brace him, these weren’t the same people that Tony was familiar with. He did a quick scan, cataloguing some of the differences all over again to help him remember in the moment. It was very likely that these people would take offence if he treated them warily, or kept them at arms length, the way he had to with the Avengers in his world.

“Easy, guys, Tony just got out of the hospital. Don’t rush him,” Steve scolded. He took a step closer to Tony, clearly thinking that his presence would help.

And the weird thing was – it _did_ , though Tony couldn’t have explained why even if someone offered him five thousand bucks. Circumstances had forced him to get used to the fact that he and Cap would never be friends, or anything more than teammates, and he had long since adjusted his behavior accordingly. But Steve wasn’t Cap. That much was obvious in every interaction they had. If Tony could get used to that within the span of four days, perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad.

Besides, as he took in the room again, he noticed that there was no sign of Wanda Maximoff. That right there was a _huge weight_ off of Tony’s shoulders. He couldn’t remember the timeline well enough to know whether Wanda had joined Hydra by this point or not. He would have to take a moment to look into that: if the same thing happened here, on the off chance that nothing had happened to her or her parents yet, he could prevent it. If she was already Hydra, he could at least prepare the team for her and Pietro.

“Here, Tony, why don’t you sit down on the couch?” Bruce suggested. He offered an arm, which Tony took. He allowed Bruce to help him over to the couch, where he sat down slowly. The couch was completely different from the one that Pepper had picked out for the living room in his reality, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Everyone else drifted back to the positions they had been in before. It was only then that Tony realized that Loki was missing. He turned to Bruce and asked, “Where’s Loki?”

“My brother said something about stupid movies and vanished,” Thor offered.

“He’s probably on the roof again,” Natasha said, flicking a piece of popcorn in the air. She leaned back to catch it with her mouth, but Coulson quickly nabbed it out of the air and popped it into his mouth. Natasha gave him a look of utter betrayal, to which Coulson just grinned back.

“Okay,” Tony said slowly. Obviously this information was well known to everyone else, since no one looked surprised. This was going to be harder than Tony had thought. He didn’t know these people the way he was supposed to.

“Hey Natasha, catch!” the dark-haired girl who’d called the movie unrealistic threw an M&M at Natasha. Natasha ducked forward and caught it expertly.

“I’m just gonna –” Tony struggled to his feet and limped towards the elevator. He was half-afraid Steve would offer to come with him, and was relieved when Steve didn’t. He couldn’t help breathing a slight sigh of relief as the elevator doors closed and whisked him away – heading up, because of course JARVIS knew where he wanted to go.

He found himself on the roof of the tower when the doors opened. Loki was immediately visible, standing at the very edge of the roof and looking down. It was a little creepy to see him standing that close to the edge, but Tony reminded himself that Loki was an Asgardian. If he fell, he could transport back to the roof. Hell, Tony didn’t even know if hitting the ground from this height would kill Loki. It never hurt Thor.

“Cheerful homecoming?” Loki asked, not turning around.

“Overwhelming,” Tony admitted, moving closer. “Hey, who was that dark-haired girl down there? Few inches taller than me, really nice rack, wearing a Pikachu tank top?”

“Darcy. Thor’s girlfriend’s intern.”

The name faintly rang a bell; Tony thought Thor had mentioned her a time or two in his reality, though Tony had never met her in person. He sighed and rubbed his head. “I realized this is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I don’t know any of them.”

“Finally realized that, did you?” Loki queried, sounding amused. He glanced at Tony out of the corner of his eye.

“Shut up,” Tony said half-heartedly. “I don’t – I need their help, I need them to like me, and what if they hate me when they find out I’m a different Tony Stark?”

Loki snorted at that. “Their Tony Stark is dead. You’re alive. The only thing you need to fear is them wanting to keep you.”

Tony didn’t say anything for a long moment. In a way, this world was kind of like the fantasy he’d harbored for years – and still did to a smaller extent, if he was being honest with himself. A world where the Avengers actually appreciated him and wanted him around? It was everything Tony had wanted from the moment Fury first made him aware of the Avengers Initiative. The sense of camaraderie and, dare Tony think it, _family_ that had greeted him when he entered the living room was compelling.

Too late, Tony realized he’d been silent for too long when Loki turned to him with interest. “ _Do_ you want to stay?”

“No,” Tony said hastily. “I have a wife and child. I want to get back to them.”

Loki looked at him for several seconds, expression blank, before he shrugged. “Very well then, Stark. What do you want to know?”

“The Mind Stone. Tell me what you know about it.”

“It was destroyed,” said Loki. “I already told you that.”

Tony shook his head. “Not just then, but before. Where was the sceptre? Can you tell me where it was in the days leading up to its destruction?”

“No,” Loki said.

“Why the hell not?” Tony demanded.

“Because I don’t know,” Loki answered calmly. “I don’t remember anything about my time on Thanos’s ship until I reached Earth. And even there, I was never given the sceptre to use. Thanos kept it at all times, and I have no idea where he was before or during the battle. I was barely aware before the brainwashing ended.”

Tony’s heart sank. “Then I’ll comb the footage. I’ll ask people if I have to.”

“You can, but I doubt they’ll know either.” Something that was uncomfortably close to pity finally flashed across Loki’s face. “I know of no way for you to get home. You’re stuck here.”


	5. Chapter 5

It took two weeks for the truth to sink in. Two long weeks, during which Tony devoted himself to looking through every second of footage he could get his hands on from the Battle of New York. He hacked into SHIELD’s databases and went through everything that they had, looked through all of his own personal servers, paid a lot of money for black market information… and came up with nothing.

There was no mention of the Mind Stone before Thanos came off the ship. Nothing. So far as Tony could tell, Thanos walked off the ship with the Tesseract in hand and all hell broke loose. It never left Thanos’s hand until it was destroyed, and Thanos was subsequently defeated when approximately three quarters of the forces fighting on his side were suddenly free of their brainwashing and turned on him.

Tony stopped and stared at the fruits of his work in disbelief. He felt like tearing his hair out in frustration, but he was really too tired to even do that. He just… he didn’t want to accept it. Part of his brain was still trying to think of a way that he could back in time during that precious five hour window and steal the Tesseract from Thanos, but that was impossible. 

Even if he could pinpoint the time travel device to that date and time, there was no telling what the magical fluctuations would do. Even if he could get some one-on-one time against Thanos, he’d never get to the Tesseract on his own. Even if he could go back in time and talk to the past Avengers before the battle, their concentration had been on keeping Thanos from destroying Earth: there was no way they’d agree to help him instead. He couldn’t take on Thanos alone.

“Finally figured it out, did you?”

“Go away,” Tony said without heat, not lifting his eyes from his myriad of calculations.

“You can’t go home, Stark,” Loki told him. He drifted around the far end of the table, green magic turning his edges filmy. It was hard to tell if he was really there or not.

“I said go away,” Tony said.

Loki paused in front of him. “Listen to me. When you wanted to live, the best thing that the Infinity Stones could do for you was to throw your soul into another reality. Do you not think that the Stones would’ve repaired your body if they could’ve? And since they couldn’t, you have no body to go back to.”

“I could take this body with me,” Tony snapped, finally looking up. The look of pity on Loki’s face made his stomach clench. Because if even _Loki_ was pitying him – 

“Using the Infinity Stones destroyed your body before. What makes you think using them again wouldn’t do the same thing to this one?” Loki asked.

Tony froze.

“Furthermore, what do you think the likelihood of you finding your specific universe again is? There are millions of universes out there, Stark. More than you can possibly dream of. It’s far more likely that you would end up in an entirely new universe, once that could be exponentially worse than what you have here. It’s time to cut your losses. You’re here to stay.”

“No,” Tony whispered, but there was no conviction behind it. 

“Yes,” Loki said, not unkindly. “I would have told you this from the beginning, but I know how stubborn you can be. You needed to see for yourself that there was no way for you get the Mind Stone. You wouldn’t have believed me otherwise. I knew you’d arrive at the right conclusion, though.”

Tony just stared at him, but he wasn’t really seeing Loki. He was seeing the faces of Pepper and Morgan and Peter. Harley and Rhodey and Happy. Dummy. Butterfingers. You. FRIDAY. All the people that he would never be able to get back to now. All the people that thought Tony was dead. All the people he’d been fighting so hard for… 

“Ugh,” Loki muttered when Tony crumbled. “JARVIS, summon Rogers, would you?”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Tony said, or thought he said, but the burning in his eyes told him otherwise. He wasn’t usually one to cry; Howard had drilled it into him at a pretty young age that Stark men didn’t cry. They found other ways of dealing with their problems – usually alcohol. It was one of many reasons that Tony had been grateful that Morgan was a girl, because it meant he worried less about passing on Howard’s toxic bullshit.

He really wouldn’t have to worry about that now. Pepper, Happy and Rhodey would be raising Morgan for him. He’d never get to see her grow up. Never walk her down the aisle. Never be a grandfather, if Morgan decided to have children. He’d never stand at her side when she graduated, or be able to throw her a sweet sixteen birthday party. He’d never teach her how to drive or how to dance, never be able to vet her boyfriends or girlfriends before they took her out for a date, never be able to kiss her goodnight.

The tears came hot and fast then, sliding down his face no matter how hard he tried to blink them away. He was vaguely aware of Loki stepping away from the desk, and then suddenly Loki was gone and Steve was there. Tony tried to turn his face away, embarrassed, but Steve was too fast. Big, warm arms gathered Tony up in a hug, pressing him securely to Steve’s chest, and Tony thought… fuck it.

Just… fuck it. Fuck everything.

He broke down sobbing in Steve’s arms, unable to help himself. He didn’t know how long he cried for, but it was a long time. Steve held him the whole time, occasionally stroking Tony’s hair. He didn’t ask questions, and he didn’t try to tell Tony that it would be okay. It was, Tony would realize later, exactly what he needed at the time, though he had no idea how Steve could’ve known that.

Even when the tears eventually stopped, not because Tony’s grief had gone but because he was so exhausted he couldn’t cry anymore, Steve didn’t let go. Maybe because, at some point, Tony had grabbed onto Steve’s shirt. His hands were fisted in the fabric so tightly that the material would’ve torn if Steve had moved much. He tried to make himself let go, but his hands weren’t cooperating, and he made a frustrated sound.

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve said softly. “Tony… who is Morgan?”

Oh shit. Tony hadn’t realized he’d been speaking while he was crying. His mouth did that sometimes. He thought, for a wild few moments, about lying. He could tell Steve that Morgan was someone who’d passed away a long time ago, and this was the anniversary of their death and it had just hit Tony out of the blue. Steve was trusting. He would probably accept that and not press for details…

Tony closed his eyes. “Steve,” he said, voice ragged. “I need to tell you something.”

“Sure. You can tell me anything,” said Steve. He was being so kind that Tony’s eyes welled up with tears again. Why couldn’t Rogers have been like this? Maybe things wouldn’t have had to end this way if the Avengers had been a real team from day one.

He tried to pull away, and was surprised when it worked this time. Steve let him go, allowing Tony to take a few steps back. In lieu of any tissues or clothes that weren’t coated in grease and oil, Tony stripped off his shirt and wiped his face with his shirt. It was filthy anyway, and in desperate need of a wash. It wasn’t until he caught Steve’s surprised look that he realized he was showing off the arc reactor. That made him uncomfortable, and he awkwardly held the shirt up in front of his chest.

Steve politely looked away, clearly realizing what was going on, and stripped off his sweatshirt. He handed it to Tony. After a split second pause, Tony dropped his shirt and hauled the sweatshirt off. It was too big by far and had a suspicious splotch on the right shoulder where Tony had been crying, but it was warm from Steve’s body heat, and smelled like Steve’s cologne. Tony pushed the sleeves up and sighed.

“I’m… I’m not your Tony,” he said.

Steve’s eyes widened. “Uh… what?”

“I know. That sounds weird. It _is_ weird. What it comes down to is…” Tony bit his lip in frustration. Part of him still wanted to keep up the charade. It was easier that way. 

But that wasn’t right or fair. Steve and the other Avengers deserved to know that their Tony Stark was dead. Besides, Tony knew that sooner or later he was going to make a mistake. There had already been a few weird moments where someone else would make reference to something that Tony should’ve known about, but which he didn’t. He thought he’d been able to smooth things over so far and pretend that everything was okay, but it was only a matter of time before he couldn’t bullshit his way through things. Natasha had already been giving him a couple of funny looks. It was better to tell them first than let them find out.

“Tony?” Steve said, and Tony looked up at him. Steve’s eyes were wide with genuine concern. In spite of everything, it was enough to make Tony’s heart flutter and he kind of hated himself for that.

“The doctors were right when they said that the Tony Stark from this world was brain dead. He really is gone. I’m… I’m from a different reality. A reality where Thanos wasn’t destroyed at the Battle of New York, and where he came and attacked several years later. I died using the Infinity Stones to stop him. Or at least, I thought I was dying. But I guess I wanted to live, because it was only my body that died.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting. A fit of rage, maybe, or a lot of yelling. He flinched when Steve suddenly stepped closer and reached out, wildly thinking that Steve was going to attack – not that Tony would stop him. He deserved to be punched after deceiving the other Avengers for the past three weeks. So he was totally shocked when, instead, Steve laid a hand on Tony’s forehead.

“You don’t feel feverish, but I think we should call the doctor just in case,” Steve said worriedly.

Tony blinked. “What?”

“Have you hit your head recently? Do you feel sick?” Steve asked. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Oh for – Loki!” Tony yelled.

That familiar green magic shimmered into the workshop, leaving behind Loki standing there with his arms crossed. “Contrary to your belief, I do not exist purely to come at your beck and call, Stark,” he drawled.

“Yet you’re here,” Tony said. 

Loki scowled. “And yet I’m leaving.”

“No, wait! I’m trying to explain and Steve thinks I’m crazy,” Tony said. 

That gave Loki pause. His mouth twitched with amusement. “Does he, now?”

“Loki, heeeeelp meeeee,” Tony whined. He’d never thought there would come a day when he was outright begging for Loki’s help, of all people, but he didn’t know any other way to convince Steve. Loki was the team’s resident magical expert. If Loki said this was true, they would believe him.

Loki sighed. “I don’t know what Stark told you,” he said to Steve. “But he’s correct. This is not the Tony Stark of our world. It’s still Tony Stark, but one from a different reality. There is more to it than that, but your tiny human brains can’t begin to comprehend –”

“Wait. This isn’t a joke?” Steve said, holding up a hand. He also took a step away from Tony, which hurt more than Tony wanted to admit. 

“No. It’s not a joke,” Tony said quietly.

Steve looked back and forth between them. His jaw tightened and his shoulders squared: the comforting, soft Steve had disappeared and this was Captain America now. “I think it’s time to assemble the rest of the team so that we can all hear a full explanation.”


	6. Chapter 6

Tony looked at the familiar faces staring at him. Bruce, Clint, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Coulson, Darcy, Jane Foster, Thor and Pepper all wore identical expressions of dumbfounded shock. Loki, who was standing on the opposite of the room, would have looked perfectly at ease if it wasn’t for the strain in his shoulders. Tony was half-expecting Loki to snap and vanish at any moment.

Not that he could blame Loki – the tension was unbearable. No one was saying a word, not that he could blame them. The story sounded ludicrous even with Loki’s explanation, but it was the truth. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for someone to speak. His heart was beating so fast that it was a miracle he didn’t have a heart attack on the spot – but then again, the arc reactor was helping with that.

Finally, Clint broke the silence. “If this is a joke, I’m going to be really offended that you guys didn’t let me in on it before you sprung it on people.”

“It’s not a joke,” Tony said wearily. He’d already lost count of how many times he’d had to say that. He suspected he wasn’t going to get to stop saying it anytime soon.

“So you’re not our Tony,” Natasha said, narrowing her eyes like she could see through him.

“No, I’m not,” Tony said. “I am _a_ Tony, just not the particular Tony of this world. He’s dead.”

Her mouth tightened, and he suddenly remembered how worried she’d been when he woke up in the hospital. He winced, wishing that there was some way to deliver this information with more tact and diplomacy – but really, what could he say? This should never have happened. They should’ve been given the right to mourn their Tony Stark back when the guy actually died.

It startled him when Bucky stood up suddenly, and he took a hasty step back. But Bucky didn’t try to come at him, just looked at him and said, “You haven’t tried to kill us. But you were afraid of us, in the beginning. I didn’t understand why, and I still don’t. Did the Avengers in your world do something to you?”

Tony almost laughed. What a loaded question. “Yes. No,” he corrected himself, then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Several sets of eyes narrowed at that statement, but it was Bruce who spoke. “That means yes.”

“I had… a lot more time with the Avengers from my world. Some things were different,” Tony said. His pulse quickened at the thought of telling them everything. He didn’t think he could do it. He’d gotten used to the Avengers from his reality only wanting him around when they needed something from him; he had made his peace with that. 

But at the same time, things were so different here. In the past two weeks, Tony had quickly figured out that Tony Stark was a real and valued member of the Avengers. Not only that, but the team actually valued his opinions, knowledge and what he gave them. And on top of _that_ , they actively sought him out to spend time with him. The first time Clint had invited him out for beer and nachoes at 2am, Tony had seriously wondered if Clint had been replaced by an alien.

Turned out the answer was no, as that invitation had been followed up by Bruce offering to do Science! with Tony in their labs, and Natasha asking if he wanted to go to the movies. Steve followed him around sometimes like a lost puppy, and Thor had voiced a desire for them to go flying together when Tony was feeling better. Even Bucky had asked if Tony wanted to attend a classic car show with him. And that was just in the span of two weeks.

Apparently six months wherein the team actually had the chance to act like a _team_ , instead of all going their separate ways, had the power to create a miracle. Or maybe it was the fact that Coulson was still alive, or even the fact that Loki had remained on Earth as opposed to being imprisoned on Asgard. Or maybe it was the fact that Bucky had shown up of his own free will several years early.

Whatever it was, the dynamics of this team were completely at odds to the ones of the team Tony was used to. And on the heels of his realization that he was never going to be able to get back to his own reality, came the realization that he didn’t want to lose this. Not only was this all he had, but it was a private fantasy come true. He just hoped that by telling them the truth, he wasn’t sealing his own fate.

“Who is Morgan?” Steve asked suddenly, drawing Tony’s attention back to him. 

Morgan. Just thinking about her hurt so much. Tony had to pinch the back of his hand to keep himself from crying, and summoned all of his composure to keep his voice even as he said, “She is – was – is my daughter. Pepper’s and mine.”

Pepper’s head snapped around. “Wait, you and I were married?!”

Tony couldn’t look at her, even though she sounded shocked. His eyes were glued to Steve’s face as it did a rapid change. There was something happening, something which Steve was trying very hard to keep secret, and Tony was having trouble figuring out what it meant. But surely the sudden understanding, followed by what looked an awful lot like pain, meant something? 

“Yes,” he said finally, realizing they were waiting for him to fill the expectant silence. “It took a long time for us to figure our shit out. We were married in October 2019. Morgan was born shortly after.”

“Holy shit,” Clint said, rocking back in his chair. “I never pictured you with a kid.”

“I could say the same thing to you,” Tony said.

Clint frowned. “Why would you? I don’t have kids.”

Oh. Another thing that was different, then. He supposed it made sense why he kept finding Natasha and Clint draped all over each other every time he walked into the room. He’d written it off as nothing more than platonic, but perhaps there was more to it after all. Though that didn’t explain why Natasha sometimes sat down in Bucky’s lap like she belonged there. At least Tony was pretty sure that Natasha and Bruce didn’t have anything going on.

“Wow,” Pepper said, looking at him like he was a wholly different person. Suddenly, she frowned. “Tony, I hope you’re not expecting me to –”

“No! God no,” Tony said. “I’m sure you’re an amazing woman, but… well, you’ll never be my Pep. I know that.” Not to say that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind a few times in the past couple weeks, but Tony knew better than to go down that road. The Pepper here could never take the place of the Pepper he’d left behind, and frankly Tony would never ask that of her.

Pepper looked relieved. “At least now I know why you didn’t know anything about our work,” she said. “I’ll have to think about how we can best bring you up to date.”

Tony blinked at her. “Wait… you still want me to be a part of S.I.?”

“Of course I do. You’re still Tony Stark. From what I’ve seen of you through the past two weeks, you have a reasonable head on your shoulders and you can still invent stuff. S.I. _needs_ Tony Stark,” she said, standing up. “But… I hoped you understand that I need some time. And Rhodey will too.”

Rhodey. Tony bit his lip. He couldn’t ask her to contact Rhodey for him, could he?

Like usual, Pepper read his mind. She gave him a wan smile. “I’ll contact Rhodey and fill him in. It’s probably best if the information comes from me.”

“Thanks,” Tony said quietly. He wanted to say more, but he knew Pepper well enough to know when she didn’t want to hear anything else. And sure enough, she turned on her heel and walked quickly out of the room.

That left him facing the rest of the team alone. Tony squirmed, looking around at them. Unlike Pepper, he couldn’t read their expressions at all. Even Steve’s face had smoothed out, becoming a blank mask that was uncomfortably like the expressions Rogers had worn towards the end. Tony was pretty sure there would be no welcoming hug for him right now, and that hurt more than he expected it to.

“I think we all need some time to think about this,” Coulson said. It was the first time he’d spoken, and he was staring at Tony with a very curious look in his eyes.

“That’s fair. Just… please don’t tell SHIELD about this. Not yet. I need to speak to you about it first,” Tony said. He’d come to realize that Hydra could still have infiltrated SHIELD in this reality. If that was the case, he wanted it handled better than it had been in his reality. So many undercover SHIELD agents had died when their files were made public. He had done his best to save them all, but some had been beyond his reach.

Coulson nodded. “That’s fair. I’ll come see you within a couple of hours.” He stood up and left the room. Everyone else followed, including Loki. Or at least, Tony thought everyone had gone – when he turned around, he found that Steve was still sitting there.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Steve asked bluntly.

There was the million dollar question. Tony drew himself up. “I was trying to go back home. I needed access to resources here at the tower. I wasn’t sure you’d let me stay if… if you knew the truth.”

Steve didn’t say anything for a moment. He didn’t need to; his disappointment was clearly written across his face. “I thought you knew us better than that. You should’ve told us right from the beginning. We wouldn’t have kicked you out. You may not be our Tony, but you’re still _a_ Tony Stark.”

“I… sorry,” Tony said lamely, guilt welling up in his chest. He didn’t know what else to say. Steve was right. He shouldn’t have kept it a secret. 

Steve sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re really stuck here?”

“Yes.”

“And our Tony is really dead.”

“Yes,” Tony said again, slower this time. “Loki… Loki says that the Infinity Stones wouldn’t have sent me here otherwise. This body… it was empty.”

At that, Steve flinched. Tony wished he could take the words back, but he couldn’t. As much as he was mourning Pepper and Morgan and everyone he’d lost, it was easy to forget that Steve and the others had lost someone too. Their Tony Stark must have been a good guy indeed. There was no way that Tony could replace him. They might share a body, but they were fundamentally different people.

“Coulson was right. I need some time,” Steve said finally. “But promise me you won’t leave.”

“What?” Tony looked at him in surprise.

“I know you better than that, Tony. The second we turn our backs, you’ll be gone and it’ll take forever to track you down again,” Steve said with a small smile.

Tony blinked in shock, because he really had been thinking of leaving. There was still a residence in Malibu in this world, since the Mandarin had never attacked – or hadn’t attacked yet, he wasn’t sure which it was – and he’d thought that it might make things easier if he left the tower for a little while and gave the Avengers some space. But he wasn’t sure how Steve had known that.

“I won’t,” Tony said finally. “Not unless someone asks me to.”

Steve snorted and shook his head, like that was too ludicrous to bother responding to, and walked out of the room. Tony watched him go, feeling strangely bereft. It had been surprisingly easy to separate the two teams of Avengers in his mind. Tony had grown to enjoy spending time with this team, especially Steve. He’d never realized how much skepticism and outright animosity colored his interactions with the team in his reality until he was here, having such easy conversations with Steve and the others.

All he could do right now was pray that he hadn’t lost that.


	7. Chapter 7

For the next three days, Tony didn’t see hide nor hair of the Avengers. He was pretty sure they were actively avoiding him, not that he could be angry about that. They’d all asked for time, and they deserved that. So he did his best to keep to himself and stay in the workshop, surfacing only for food and only when JARVIS said there was no one around. There was plenty to occupy his time now that he wasn’t devoting every spare second to dwelling on how to get back.

“Honestly, they’re probably better off with me,” he muttered to himself, sealing his research into a private folder on his personal servers. It was too dangerous to fall into the wrong hands. 

By now, Pepper and Morgan had probably started coming to terms with his death. Happy and Rhodey would step up for both of them, he knew. Morgan would have two of the best uncles in the whole world even if Pepper never dated again. Not to mention, she’d have two big brothers in Peter and Harley. And Pepper… she was strong. She’d have her family to fall back on too, her mother and father and her sisters. They’d be okay.

It was the only comfort Tony could give himself, knowing that Morgan in particular would be well cared for and adored. He’d done what he could for her in her first few years, trying to figure out what Howard Stark would’ve done and then doing the exact opposite. He’d cared for her the way that Edwin Jarvis had cared for him, but it hadn’t stopped him from worrying that he was going to fuck up. Now, with Tony removed from the equation and hopefully hailed as a hero in the process, Morgan wouldn’t have to grow up in his shadow. 

He thought, in the end, that even though it hurt worse than anything he’d lived through, it may have been the best thing he could’ve done for her.

Tony tried to distract himself from the pain by reading up on Stark Industries. He needed to get well versed in everything that Stark had been doing. It wasn’t too difficult to figure out where Stark had been in most of his projects; actually, Tony quickly found little ways to improve upon much of what Stark had been doing. He supposed that was one benefit to going back in time to 2012, even if it was to a different reality: technology-wise, the two realities were very similar, which meant Tony was eleven years ahead in terms of technological advancements.

In between looking at contracts and S.I. projects, he also began working on the nanobots. The set-up would be slightly different this time, as the arc reactor was still a physical part of him here, but they would still work once he made improvements to the reactor. He wasn’t going to play around with the briefcase armor or any devices that called the armor to him: he was bypassing all that and going straight to the nanobots. No need to worry about not having the suit around when he needed it this time around.

Late afternoon on day three, Tony was hunched over a table having an argument with JARVIS when there was a knock on the door. He paused, blinking in shock, and straightened up to peer cautiously at the door. Without being asked – and god, Tony had missed JARVIS so much – JARVIS changed the walls to mirrored glass, so that Tony could see out without anyone being able to see in. 

“Bucky?” Tony murmured in disbelief. “What does he want?”

“I believe he wants in. That is usually why people knock,” JARVIS said sassily. Tony sighed but smiled. A little part of him missed FRIDAY, but he was honestly just so grateful to have JARVIS back. 

“Okay, I deserved that one. Let him in,” he said. 

When Bucky entered, Tony noticed immediately that Bucky wasn’t comfortable in the workshop. He wasn’t nervous or apprehensive; he just didn’t walk in like it was second home the way that Steve did. He wondered about that. Maybe Stark and Bucky hadn’t been that close. Tony probably would’ve found it hard to be friends with the guy who’d killed his parents too. But this Bucky wasn’t Barnes.

“Hi,” Tony said.

“Hi,” Bucky said. He went to cross his arms over his chest and ended up wincing in pain. His metal arm spasmed and locked up, refusing to move. 

Tony stood up immediately. “Arm problems? Sit,” he ordered, pointing to a stool. He’d never gotten the chance to look at Barnes’ arm in person for obvious reasons, but he’d seen scans and had talked to Shuri about it. He’d helped her to develop the new arm, not that Barnes or Rogers had ever been aware of that fact.

Bucky stripped off his shirt and sat without a word. Tony was relieved to see that the arm was clearly Stark’s personal work, though not nearly as good as something Tony could’ve done. He picked up his tray of tools and moved closer, then paused. He didn’t know Bucky well, but it was probably fair to think that the guy was a little wary about people doing maintenance on him.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” he asked cautiously. “If not, JARVIS can take some scans. Depending on what the problem is, I might be able to walk you through fixing it yourself.”

“It’s fine. I trust you,” Bucky said shortly, and Tony looked at him in surprise. He would’ve thought that statement was directed at Stark, except that Bucky clearly knew who Tony was now. Chances were Bucky hadn’t forgotten that revelation in the span of three days. 

“Why?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“Like I said, you never tried to kill or hurt us even though you had ample opportunity,” Bucky said simply. “You could’ve kept pulling the wool over our eyes, but you chose not to. You told us the truth, whatever that might mean for you. And in that meeting, I thought you were going to cry when Pepper said she still wanted you to be a part of Stark Industries. Being here, being Tony Stark, it _means_ something to you. I don’t think you’d fuck that up so easily.”

Tony just stood there for a moment, shocked that Bucky could see through him so clearly and unsure of what to say in response to that. Bucky gave him a knowing look and reached up to touch the shoulder of his metal arm. He popped off a couple of the plates, revealing some of the wires inside. Tony’s attention was automatically drawn to the wires and he stepped forward to examine them.

He saw the problem immediately: a couple of wires had gotten pulled free, possibly when Barnes was sparring with either Steve or Thor – those three really went at it when they got going. He was able to reattach them relatively easily, which caused Bucky to let out a quiet sigh of relief. Then he spent several minutes going over the rest of the arm. Like he’d thought, it was a technological marvel… for 2012.

“I can improve on this if you like,” Tony said finally. He might even be able to incorporate some of the nanobots to reduce the amount of wiring. “It would be an experiment, though.”

“I have no problem being _your_ experiment,” Bucky said. The emphasis of the word ‘your’ wasn’t lost on Tony, and he looked Bucky in the face.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t do anything,” he said. 

Bucky nodded. “I know. Your team, they weren’t good to you.” He said it matter-of-factly. “You were testing us too. Trying to figure out what things were like here. It must’ve been a shock to see how things are.”

Tony laughed. “A shock is putting it mildly. Seeing the way the Avengers are here… I have a hard time wrapping my head around it sometimes. They’re an actual team.” His voice was filled with wonder. “And they actually want Stark around. Sometimes I think he must’ve been a way better person than I am.”

“Or maybe the Avengers in your reality were assholes,” Bucky said. 

“Maybe,” Tony said quietly, and gently replaced the plates on Bucky’s arm. He watched the way that Bucky stood and flexed his arm, and wondered if maybe he could build Bucky an arm entirely from nanobots. Would Bucky like being able to have an arm at will? He’d have to think more on it before bringing it up to see if it was feasible.

“Thanks,” Bucky said. “That feels a lot better. I’d like it if you could improve on it. Stark was working on a few things before he died.”

The fact that Bucky was able to say that so casually made Tony curious, and he said, “You weren’t close with Stark, were you?”

“Not really. He let me live here and be a part of the team, and he worked on my arm. But I made him uncomfortable. I don’t know if he thought I was a loose canon or if it was the fact that I killed his parents.” Bucky’s mouth twisted. “I didn’t push it.”

“The code words. Are they gone from your mind?” Tony asked, and Bucky gave him a sharp look before nodding.

“Yes. After I came to the tower, Stark put me into contact with Charles Xavier. He’s a –”

“Mutant. I knew of him in my world, though we weren’t close,” Tony said.

“He was able to remove the code words from my brain. I can’t be turned into the Soldier anymore,” Bucky said.

Tony nodded, figuring it was probably the parent thing that had held Stark back, and said, “That’s good. I never really knew the Barnes in my reality. He never lived at the tower.” Rogers had made sure that never happened. He’d never even given Tony the chance to make that choice. It was something that still made Tony feel very bitter, even after all these years.

“But you knew Steve and everyone else?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah.” Tony picked up his tray and turned away.

“Did you and your Steve ever date?”

The question was so unexpected that Tony nearly dropped his tray on the floor. Surprisingly, it was Dummy who stopped him from doing that. Dummy’s hand came up and steadied the tray. Tony blinked at the ‘bot for several seconds in stupified silence before carefully setting the tray on the counter. He patted Dummy’s chassis as a thank you before turning to Bucky.

“Did Steve and I ever what?!” 

Bucky smiled. “That tells me the answer right there. I just wondered.”

“You just wondered,” Tony repeated in disbelief. “Wait. Were Stark and Steve…?”

“No,” Bucky said, shaking his head. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “But…”

“It seemed to me like they might be headed that way,” Bucky admitted. “Well, at least on Steve’s part. I think he had a crush on Stark, but it was a lot harder for me to tell how Stark felt. He always closed up when I was around. I know he liked spending time with Steve; they were good friends. They were the leaders of the Avengers. But anything beyond that… you’d have to ask someone who knew Stark a lot better than I did.”

“Wow,” Tony said, staring at him. He hadn’t expected that. “Steve was in love with Stark…”

“I said he had a crush. I didn’t say he was in love,” Bucky corrected. “I know Stevie. I don’t think he was in nearly that deep. They hadn’t even gone on a date yet.”

But a crush, even a little one, was way more than Tony would ever have thought. “Why are you telling me this?”

Bucky gave him a curious look, then smiled again. “I figured you deserved to know as much history as anyone else around here. Do you want to hear more about Stark and the other Avengers?”

“Sure,” Tony said, but his mind was still whirling over this new development. It was kind of incredible to think that there was actually a Steve Rogers who thought that much of Tony Stark. No, it was mind blowing. And a childhood fantasy come to life, to be honest. 

He tried to push that aside and focus as Bucky started talking about Stark and Natasha, but that was easier said than done. Steve had been attached to Stark. They were _actually_ friends, possibly verging on something more. No wonder Steve was so upset by all of this. It was looking more and more unlikely that Tony would be able to take Stark’s place… or even make a place for himself here. What would he do if Steve decided he didn’t want Tony around?

“Tony?” Bucky said suddenly, and Tony looked over at him.

“What? Uh, sorry,” he said, realizing he hadn’t been paying attention.

“It’s fine. Look, I’m probably the last person you wanna hear reassurance from, but it’ll be okay,” Bucky said. “I mean it.”

Tony smiled weakly. “I’m not sure I believe it, but thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find on [tumblr](https://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


End file.
